He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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