I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
