i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
