Don't you send me to vm
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
wow bdsm is so cute
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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