That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i think my tv is drunk
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
