my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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