Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
