I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
