Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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