you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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