Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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