A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
