omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
