i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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