He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
