My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
