White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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