This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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