Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
