I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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