Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
