i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
