So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
