It's Friday. Sex?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
