omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
