My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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