But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
