I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
