Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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