We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
