He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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