I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Found your dick twin last night
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
