is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
