I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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