I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
