Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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