Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
