Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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