where am i from again
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize