I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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