We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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