I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
