he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
