need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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