Jerry, you need to find god
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
