You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
youre lurking in front of me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
