So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
