I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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