Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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