pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
