So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
