i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
