If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
