Is it because I queefed?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
